February 2012
15 posts
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Usher Makes A New Sex Song - R&B Gets Born
Don’t know if you have realised… but Usher hasn’t made a better sex song since Nice & Slow in his career. His 1998 follow-up jam to Number 1 hit You Make Me Wanna… is nice and also slow but the title is actually a sexy double-entendre for Usher’s favourite hobby, which he is on the verge of doing throughout the song. Typical of the R&B music of that era, the song is real “getting it on”...
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Claire Danes Has Finally Made It.
I know it’s risky to put your reputation on the line but I’m going to go extremely early on this and say that Claire Danes will be a star. Who knows if she’s won a Golden Globe for her role in Homeland (I do)? Who can say if there’s a deluge of American critical acclaim for her acting chops thus far (I can)? Her new series Homeland could bomb here (it won’t). It’s bold and career-risking for me to...
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The Strange Case Of Diddy's Migraine
“The D, the I, the D, the Diddy, the Y, the Diddy, the… OH MY LORD MY FUCKING EYE JEEZ WOT’S GOING ON?”… I was cruising the bus home on Monday night, scrolling through Twitter and checking out the news (TMZ), when I was struck with a sudden urge to helicopter Migralieve to Hollywood: Diddy was having a migraine. A MIGRAINE! The migraine was so extreme he was HOSPITALISED. Shut the front door....
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Skins… WTF?
WTF Skins. If Monday’s episode is anything to go by, according to your (loose) moral code these are the steps that lead to you getting raped by your boyfriend:
Find a dodgy guy on holiday in Morocco (a 16-year-old holidaying in Morocco?) who happens to live round your area back in Bristol (two 16-year-olds holidaying in Morocco?)
Don’t get any tangible information about how to ever find said guy...
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Chris Brown is a bad version of Bobby Brown who is...
Chris Brown has in the past two weeks won a Grammy, performed at the Grammys, potentially gotten back together with Rihanna, collaborated with Rihanna on record, and sang “Girl I wanna fuck you right now/Been a long time I been missing your body” on said record for the world to hear on repeat forever more, thereby doing a “kerching” on domestic violence. Da...
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L U V Whitney
I don’t make a habit of blogging when a famous dies. The internet is always awash with a million obituaries, the televisions sigh relief that they finally get to air that too often pre-prepared VT on loop for 12 hours; the grief becomes overwhelmingly public. From the “Whitney was my hero” and the “I listened to Whitney growing up” to the “what a waste of a unique talent” and the hysterical “WHY...
intercourse with biscuits: The Huffington Post is... →
Only just seen this. Powerful stuff from Mic Wright. The more you work for free, the less you get thanked, the less likely it is you will ever get remunerated and the longer it will take you to gain the recognition and kudos you deserve. Also you’ll never get laid.
brokenbottleboy:
The job market is tough these days but I still wouldn’t apply to slip on the fleecy suit of the Judas goat....
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L U V M.I.A.
I think I might fancy M.I.A. a bit now. It’s very confusing. My gay friend growing up once described me as “the most straight person I know”; my type is man-shaped and not much more specific than that. For instance, I went to see Michael Fassbender bang his way about New York like a wank-crazed Patrick Bateman in Shame last weekend solely because I wanted to see his massive shlong. We can...
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When I Met Sleigh Bells…
I LOVE SLEIGH BELLS. AND SLEIGH BELLS LOVE ME (I hope).
Q: Treats was a really energetic album. Your sound is still massive on the second album, Reign Of Terror, but it sounds more contained. Did you decide to turn the volume down a bit?
Derek: Awesome, thank you! Sure… not necessarily. I’ve been saying more and more… it’s not that we try not to make decisions, I don’t necessarily have a lot...
January 2012
15 posts
2 tags
Don't Think - A Chemical Brothers Film
Don’t Think Director: Adam Smith Starring: Tom Rowlands, Ed Simons Not long into Don’t Think – a Chemical Brothers film – will viewers resemble Steve Carell in Anchorman, verbally challenged by the experience: “LOUD! NOISES!” The superstar DJs alongside Adam Smith are unparalleled deliverers of big beat electronica and jaw-dropping light shows. Anyone who doesn’t have epilepsy knows this....
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intercourse with biscuits: Arguing With People On... →
Mic Wright issues a much-needed dose of diplomacy to a horrible spat between writer Emma Kennedy and one of her followers on Twitter.
brokenbottleboy:
If arguing with people on the internet was an Olympic sport, I might make the b-team of a regional side made of slightly aggrieved John Lewis customers complaining on Facebook and a man who once got upset about a misplaced apostrophe (long...
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Mum vs The Times
Dear Sir
You’ve upset my mum. I got a standard mum text from her at 7.31 this morning… “Morning darling, I would love to defend parents page 6 t2 tdy about their filthy kitchens rancid food by candida crewe who does she think she is x”
Look, I don’t know who Candida Crewe is. I haven’t read her piece yet. But I’m going with my mum on this one. Always. You...
I'm A Hoarder
Sometimes you have to be honest with yourself. There comes a point when you need to find the belt for the outfit you’re wearing in your wardrobe but you can’t get into the wardrobe because of the layers of shoes you don’t wear. One of those shoes is there on its own. It doesn’t have a partner; a removal company you used two years ago lost it. You should have chucked the...
POPFESSIONS: Eve Barlow →
Holy crapola, there’s no going back now.
popfessions:
It’s all coming back to me now. You know… the song. It’s All Coming Back To Me Now. “There were moments of truth and there were FLASHES OF LIGHT?!” Christ! It’s not like I remember all the lyrics to the lead track off Celine Dion’s fourth English-speaking album Falling Into You, except…
POPFESSIONS: Rhodri Marsden →
popfessions:
Almost exactly 28 years ago I was 12, and a record by Frankie Goes To Hollywood called ‘Relax’ was screaming up the charts. But I couldn’t hear it on BBC radio or telly because Radio 1 DJ Mike Read had decided it was rude. I had a look at the 7” in my local record shop in Dunstable,…
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HAPPY BOWIE BIRTHDAY: We Wish You Well In Your...
Of all the people in the world to age, get a bus pass and retire, I didn’t think it’d be David Bowie. Then again, the fact he’s so popstar fabulous and yet completely human is why he’s just so facking A. If you’re yet to take a voyage to planet Bowie, do not let his retirement put you off. You’ll learn that it’s impossible for Ziggy Stardust to ever disappear without a trace,...
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“New Ladyhawke album sounds like the theme tune from Clarissa Explains It All.”
– Me
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Grimes: Genesis
4AD consistently know their shit. They’ve just signed Grimes; a female pop vocalist with a penchant for wispy Cocteau Twins-esque harmonies. The track Genesis is a stunning introduction to her world. For fans of Braids.
Enjoy it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olP3279j5_0
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MellowHype: Odd Future continue… →
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Films For 2012
The Hobbit
Starring: Martin Freeman, Benedict Cumberbatch, Elijah Wood
Tagline: There’s no Smaug, without Shire.
Before Bilbo Baggins celebrated his one-hundred and eleventieth birthday, he defeated a dragon and found a ring. But we won’t give it all away…
Due: 14 December 2012
Prometheus
Starring: Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Noomi Rapace
Tagline: It’s Ghostbusters. In...
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Santigold And Spankrock →
One of my most anticipated albums of 2012 will be the next Santigold. We’ve waited too long. In the meantime, this is her at her diamond best on Spankrock’s Car Song.
December 2011
12 posts
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Sleigh Bells Thrashing/All Around Me →
Yeah not those Christmas-y ones, the ones that make lots of noise. They’re back in 2012 with a new album. Here’s the track Born To Lose… if you fancy sticking a machine gun in your eardrum.
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A Z E A L I A / B A N K S →
New track from Azealia Banks is called Liquorice. And it makes Milkshake by Kelis sound like it’s about Yazoo.
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Love Letter To Drive
“Re-al human be-ing…” Off to see Drive? Get the bus. It’s the sort of pulp movie you strut out of like Steve McQueen. “And a re-al he-ro…” Gloves on, keys out, toothpick ready, the saccharine refrain from College’s A Real Hero circling round your head for hours like a racecar at Daytona. “Re-al human be-ing…” Forget the LA Storm Drain System, we’re all real human beings here with cars. Let’s be...
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“Whoever said that you should never meet your heroes obviously just has really...”
– Me
Everything died in… 1984
Often when working on a publishing house’s production hub, sound systems collide. Where I work it’s a battle of speakers between two titles. Rarely do these inspire mash-ups, they’re too unplanned. Today, however, the mash-up would have a themed title… Manchester Died In 1984. One magazine began playing New Order’s Blue Monday (it’s a daily occurrence) while the other pondered what to...
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But… What Will She LOOK Like?
That Madonna song, Gimme All Your Love, that “leaked” a few weeks ago… sounded like Toni Basil’s Mickey. Take from that what you will. But is Madonna going to go for the cheerleader look on her 2012 album? It remains to be seen. Let’s take some comfort in the GREAT looks she’s gone for thus far…
‘80 New Romantic/Tomboy Madge
Glam Madge
...
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*Tongue firmly in cheek*… It has recently come to...
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Marry The Night: Uncovered
Lady Gaga has today released a 14-minute mini movie that could potentially comprise the greatest pop video of all time. Yes, I just went there.
Giving the video my full attention and repeated death-by-Marry-The-Night viewings, I’ve discovered a great deal of reference points. Taking a dangerous leap into the mind of Gaga, I try to decipher exactly what was inspiring the aritiste...
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Subbing the The's in band names…
In my subbing role on MOJO Magazine, it is often debated as to whether a band known to the world as a “The” band is officially a “The” band. This usually involves checking sleeves of albums and discographies. Today’s challenge has concerned The Smashing Pumpkins. The debate about whether the article “the” is captialised in the name Smashing Pumpkins is, I...
November 2011
16 posts
5 tags
Blog To Save Absolutely Fabulous
I can’t remember life without Absolutely Fabulous. The BBC series has taught me vital lessons. For example: the only French you need to survive is “La Croix”; always refer to Eddie when checking if a sentence ends “sweetie”, “darling” or “sweetie darling”; and, if you’re a has-been in real life, it’s okay if you play a has-been on Ab Fab (see Lulu, Minnie Driver, etc). My appreciation of it has...
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Lady Gaga X Terry Richardson
Notorious photographer Terry Richardson gets 10 months’ unlimited access to the world’s biggest superstar in Lady Gaga’s first official book of more than 350 unseen portraits. Gaga appears totally at ease with Richardson, who has an unparalleled knack for capturing the human in the frame, taking a globally recognised fictional phenomenon and proving how she’s (almost) just like you and I. See Gaga...
The Problem With Music Critics: Mo' Problems
One of the most touching responses received following my previous blog post on the weekend is from a struggling music writer in the Republic of Ireland. I knew when I set my sights on music journalism that I had to move to London. The most relevant role I’d had up until then was at culture listings title The List in Edinburgh - I commuted from Glasgow every day. The importance of Glasgow as...
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Madge… Whatcha' Gon' Do Next?
Hello Madonna … It’s me… Downward dog once if you can hear me… You came to me in ’98 via MTV’s repeat plays of the Frozen video… you had henna squiggles on your hands, crows bursting out your chest, and you were on a beach playing some sort of contorted version of Twister by yourself… I pricked my finger on a plastic CD cover of Ray Of Light and fell into an eternal slumber,...
The National as if sung by a woman… Which makes...
“Sean Adams (creator of Drowned In Sound – an inspiring website) has shed further...”
–
…the music press is in danger of becoming a Hacienda-nostalgic version of the House of Lords
via this brilliant ‘The Problem With Music Critics’ blog post by Eve Barlow, Deputy Production Editor, Q/MOJO/Empire/FHM.
As one of the few ‘younger voices’ for The Sunday Times, I feel like I should...
awkwardindiekid asked: You are aware that JD Samson is a woman - hence the feeble facial fluff haha :) but nonetheless an entertaining article, and all for a good cause!
The Problem With Music Critics: A Response
It took precisely ONE minute for Will Hodgkinson to respond to the previous Tumblr post I emailed to him this morning.
Dear Eve
I love good pop. The Rihanna album sounded like it was phoned in. The lyrics are about nothing. There’s little passion in the delivery. It’s a perfectly adequate, unremarkable album.
Best, Will
I guess he’s used to angry people. Perhaps this is an...