never Miss a beat

Dear Sir

You’ve upset my mum. I got a standard mum text from her at 7.31 this morning… “Morning darling, I would love to defend parents page 6 t2 tdy about their filthy kitchens rancid food by candida crewe who does she think she is x”

Look, I don’t know who Candida Crewe is. I haven’t read her piece yet. But I’m going with my mum on this one. Always. You don’t go upsetting all the mums, especially not mine. My mum reckons she’s not smart enough to write in. “If I was clever I would write in myself, no confidence,” she says. Well she is clever, and capable. But above all, she’s incredibly busy making an impeccable home. “I am certainly clean very clean,” she repeats. Yes you are, mum. Clean, smart and, above all, My Mum.

So apologise Sir, immediately.

Regards,

Eve