never Miss a beat

I don’t blog every time that South London soulstar Jessie Ware bestows a new SoundCloud upon the world, aka the second greatest gift in the universe. (First greatest gift in the universe: Geri Haliwell judging on The X Factor - pray be Kofi Annan or George Michael at Judges Houses). That would be obsessive and creepy and a bit off. So that’s why I blog it every other time. *Oooh sorry my phone’s going… It’s Brixton Police, I’ll put them on hold*

In my defence though, Jessie Ware IS fucking amazing.

Evidence:

1. Jessie Ware has vocal chops. Sistah can sing. You know when you listen to Sybil’s When I’m Good And Ready and you clench your fist and scrunch your nose and channel that divatastic style of from-the-gut belting that says “I’ve just eaten a proper crunchy roast potato and YEAHHH OOOOH NO YOU NEVER GONNA GET IT” (sorry went a bit En Vogue there)… but then you discover that your fella/mrs/dog was in the same room as you the WHOLE time? Well, Jessie Ware doesn’t have that problem because she has a smashing voice. Trust me, I’ve road-tested it live (at two gigs in the same week).

2. Jessie Ware doesn’t act like she really knows she’s amazing. Jessie’s not getting all up in your grill before she’s even had a Number 1 chattin’ shit about life and/or the other females in the green room at Alan Carr’s Chatty Man and she’s not doing dagger eyes at her stylist who better not be getting any ideas (probs Jessie doesn’t even have a stylist… just naturally amaaaazing style). Jessie Ware is a Nice Human Being (she came across that way when I interviewed her for MOJO but the magazine doesn’t come out for ages so I’m pressing this issue now). Therefore, it’s easy to wish her all the success in the world. (Also she’s totes a Member Of The Tribe* and we like to stick together, don’t we Babs?).

[Babs aka Member Of The Tribe* and would-be fan of Jessie Ware if someone just gave her the YouTube link: “Hey Mr ARRRRRNSTEIN”]

3. Jessie Ware makes good music for once. It’s not just Jessie’s demanour that says “I’m not trying to force you to LOVE ME” (which means you defo will LOVE her - a bit too Glenn Close in my case), her music is classy (not showy), smooth (not in-yer-face) and subtle (ie, it sounds nice the first time and by the second listen you realise what you’re hearing is QUALITY sound that has been loved and cared for over a course of time). By the third listen you will take your headphones right off and wonder why you ever bothered with Bruno Mars (SRSLY? Why are you bothering? He’s shit and Usher is on form again).

4. Jessie Ware is cool. Like Katy B before her, Jessie is representing the South London massif. She’s sung for SBTRKT, Sampha (who produces the track I’m about to force you to listen to) and her most astonishing vocal to date in my official and correct opinion was for Joker on a track called The Vision (to say I had “a vision” that Jessie was fucking amazing for the first time listening to The Vision might sound like a coincidence but it’s a true story). I know that if you don’t know what the “Boiler Room” is (still a concept silghtly beyond me, tbf), you probably don’t know WTF I’ve just said in this paragraph but… these are all good things.

Now that we’re done proving that Jessie Ware is fucking amazing, I am now going to force you to listen to What You Won’t Do For Love (a version of a Bill Caldwell track which - if you were born after 1985 - is really called Boy You Knock Me Out by Will Smith protegee, Tatyana Ali). Jessie Ware even sings the lyric “Boy you knock me out” at the end of this cover. Ware is 27 years of age, which *gets calculator out*… yep 1985. Fucking amazing.

(*Member Of The Tribe - MOTT - is a cryptic way of saying that someone’s of the Jewish faith. It’s what we Jews say because we’re still afraid that everyone in public is a secret member of the SS).